This Father’s Day is different. For the first time, I’m celebrating as a dad. This has me thinking a lot about fatherhood and legacy.
In November, my wife Jessica and I welcomed our son, Micah Trey, into the world. I’ll never forget the moment I first held him.
As I hold Micah today, I find myself reflecting on the journey that led me here. I now realize that my life has been shaped by lessons I didn’t realize were preparing me for fatherhood.
The funny thing is, I’ve never really been comfortable holding babies. If there was an infant in the room, I was usually the guy hoping someone else would hold them. I was always afraid I would do something wrong.
But the moment the nurse handed me Micah, something instantly changed. The nervousness and uncertainty disappeared, and I felt completely at ease.
But more than anything, I felt protective. It was as if something inside me switched on the moment I became his dad. Even though I didn’t have any experience or a playbook, I knew instinctively how to hold him. It is one of the most powerful feelings I’ve ever experienced, and a moment I’ll never forget.
Viewing Life Through a New Lens
People told me my life would change when I became a father, and they were certainly right. What I didn’t realize was that fatherhood would change the way I look at almost everything.
There are moments now when Micah falls asleep on my chest and instead of an inclination to check my phone or think about work or basketball, I find myself just sitting there looking at him and thinking about his future.
I think about what kind of man he will become. I imagine what values and lessons he will learn from me and his mom, and whether he will know how deeply he is loved and how hard we worked to create opportunities for him.
If I’m honest, becoming a father has made me realize that all the things I’ve spent years working on weren’t just helping me build my own life and legacy. They were preparing me to help shape my son’s.
The 4 A.M. Philosophy
I am motivated by a quote from Kobe Bryant: “We’re not here because of talent. We’re here because of 4 A.M.”
This has always resonated with me because I’ve never felt like the most talented person in the room. I’m not the most naturally gifted basketball player, the smartest wealth advisor, or the strongest person at the gym. But I’ve always believed in showing up.
Showing up can look like early morning workouts, practices, coaching sessions, continuing education, commitment to my health, and investment in my marriage.
They are countless small actions most people don’t see, and for years, I thought those habits were helping me strengthen my coaching, career, marriage, and life.
Looking back, I think they were helping me become a father. I now know that fatherhood isn’t built in one big moment. It’s built through consistency, showing up, and small actions repeated over and over again, especially when nobody is watching.
The Importance of Support Systems
One of the best decisions Jessica and I ever made was moving to Tucson in 2019. At the time, we simply knew that family was important, and we wanted to be closer to them.
What we didn’t realize then was how much that decision would mean years later as parents. Today, Micah is growing up surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who love him.
As a coach, I’ve always believed great teams need great support systems. As a father, I’ve learned families do too. Some of the best investments we make don’t show up on a statement. They’re in the people who show up when life gets hard, the relationships we build, and the memories we create. Watching Micah grow up surrounded by family has reminded me that those are the things that matter most.
What True Wealth Looks Like
As a financial planner, people often assume I spend all day thinking about money. The truth is that the families I’ve worked with over the years have taught me money is only one piece of the puzzle.
When I think about Micah’s future, of course I want him to be financially secure, but more than that, I want him to be healthy, kind, grateful, and resilient. I want him to have character, integrity, and faith. I want him to build meaningful relationships and the ability to gracefully handle adversity when life inevitably gets hard. And I want him to understand that success is about far more than what you earn or own… it‘s measured by the life you build and the people you share it with.
This is the same perspective I try to bring to the clients I serve at TCI Wealth Advisors.
The Greatest Team I’ll Ever Coach
I’ve spent years coaching young athletes and watching them develop confidence, learn how to be part of a team, overcome setbacks, and learn discipline and accountability. I believe that real impact is grounded in molding them into better people, not simply better players.
As much as I love coaching basketball, fatherhood makes this resonate differently. I now know that the greatest team I’ll ever coach is my family, and the most important young person I’ll ever help develop is my son.
That responsibility is exciting, humbling, and a little scary. No coach has all the answers and there isn’t a perfect playbook. There’s only showing up, doing your best, and learning as you go.
And, loving your child with everything you have.
Fatherhood and Legacy
As I celebrate my first Father’s Day, I am thinking a lot about legacy. Not what I want Micah to have, but who I want him to become.
And the older I get, the more I realize that who he becomes will have less to do with what I tell him and more to do with the example I set.
Legacy isn’t built through one big moment. It is built through daily choices. It’s the workout you do even when you’re tired. The walk with your family at the end of a long day. The extra effort at work. The kindness and love you show without measure. A conversation with your spouse. The promise you keep. The example you set. The consistency you demonstrate when nobody is watching.
Micah may not remember every lesson I teach him, but I hope he remembers how I showed up with gratitude, crafting a legacy, and example, for him. I want him to understand that wealth is about more than money and that what truly shapes a meaningful life are the small, deliberate, consistent actions we take every day.
Gratitude
While this article is about my first Father’s Day, none of this happens without my wife. Watching Jessica become a mother has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. I am in awe of how she loves Micah, and sacrifices for and puts him first every single day. We are both very lucky to have her.
This Father’s Day, I’m grateful for so much. My wife, our families, the opportunity to serve my clients, and for the game of basketball and all it has taught me. Most of all, I’m grateful for a little boy named Micah who has already changed the way I see the world.
While I’ve spent years coaching other people’s children and helping families prepare for the future, becoming a father has deepened my appreciation for that responsibility and privilege. At the same time, it reminded me of the importance of the team living in my own house.
Fatherhood, marriage, advising, and coaching are each their own versions of 4 A.M. And what matters is showing up early, consistently, and without applause.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, grandfathers, coaches, mentors, and father figures who show up every day and do their best to create a lasting legacy. It matters more than you know.
The opinions expressed herein are those of the firm and are subject to change without notice. The opinions referenced are as of the date of publication and are subject to change due to changes in the market or economic conditions and may not necessarily come to pass. Any opinions, projections, or forward-looking statements expressed herein are solely those of author, may differ from the views or opinions expressed by other areas of the firm, and are only for general informational purposes as of the date indicated.
